You-Want's Life

Ever since my volunteering trip to rural Sabah in 2017, I have learned that there are kids out there with great potentials but not the privileges to explore them. I have met students who live so deep in the area that it takes them 2 hours to walk to their schools; and some who have only started going to school when they are 9 years old because their parents preferred for them to stay back and help with their farming chores. I felt SO lucky to have basic necessities like electricity supply, internet connection, transport arrangements to schools, and even the ability to read and write well. It hurts me seeing wasted potential in the younger generation, and I would like to extend a helping hand.   Seeing how the Covid-19 pandemic has affected the entire nation both economically and socially, I dread to imagine the current situation in rural Sabah. Good for us, Charisma Movement has worked with 3 schools around Kota Marudu in Sabah, namely SK Temunda Salimandut, SK Sampa...

Perhaps we human beings change too quickly that we refuse to acknowledge how much we have evolved over a period of time. In merely a year ’s time, I saw myself transforming from an outgoing social butterfly to a mole who prefers to lock myself up in the room. I figured that maybe my repulsion against the community’s behaviours around me has grown so large to the extent which I cannot bear immersing myself in such a pool of unwelcomed voices anymore.   I try my best to keep the same expression everywhere I go. I give the same smile, the same gestures and the same length of answers. I maintain the same image in front of teachers and friends. This defines me. I am the one version of myself which I find extremely tough to switch. Unlike the many of yous in my surrounding who tend to keep different masks on. Perhaps there is the playful one with friends; the stern one with teachers; the weak one with the unknown. Don’t you feel tired? To me I really do, that’s why I stopped pr...

The story started with Mr. David Thaw's recital of a letter he received from one of his students studying in the US. It was about mental well-being. I remember nodding my head, agreeing to the content-- the emotional health of others around us, and ourselves of course,  is extremely important especially in this era where social media has a huge influences in our lives.  Mental health deterioration is an invisible killer and has caused the global suicide rate to accelerate over the past few years. The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100000, equivalent to one death every 40 seconds. People facing mental or emotional struggles turn to ending their lives as they give up the fight against mental illnesses. I wrote Mr. Thaw an email to thank him for his sharing with the whole school that day. I also shared with him my views on the importance of mental health awareness and kindness towards others. Here's the email...

So much time has passed and I have learnt so much in life. And I believe it reflects in the evolving style in my poetry. Yes, I still do poetry. It started back in December 2014, almost 4 years now. Poetry has been a sport-- jotting down the voices in my head to clear it; selling my struggles for a vague expression. Looking back at the journey I have made, I see so much more complexity in my poetry now. It used to go short and direct, giving a setting in merely a few lines long. Very simple use of words, very innocent kind of story-telling. I thank poetry, for it has been there when I thought the world has shut me out. It is like a canvas I know I can paint on without the concern of somebody judging me. I mean, people judge anyway, but I know it’s the only platform where I can express without having to feel scared. I have been through both beautiful sunrises and dark hours in life. I couldn’t help but letting most of my poetry describe how dark or depressed my inner personality had be...

Off I went, in the spring balminess. Flowers bloomed well but it was the time for war.   How I wished that spring lasted forever, with her carefree chuckles always in the air. Her contagious smile wins over all flowers on Earth.   I could still feel her lips lingering on my neck-- that was the last thing I wished to lose.   Tim and I traveled like any other bold soldier to the camp on foot. The Last War, we called  it. In six months, the chaos would come to an end and it ’s time peace and independence ascend.   I marched on,     with my heart picturing her-     the only thing I fought for-     the sacred light at the end of my tunnel. When all the fighting were over, I would come home to her.   We marched on, as soldiers we battled and waved our swords, we prayed this was the final there could be. Non-stop, Tim bragged ab...