You-Want's Life

Water, water was everywhere! It choked me, salty. It was the sea. I blinked hard, but the more I did so, the more intensely my eyes ached. I was poised between life and death. My memories flooded in my mind like a kaleidoscope… my family, my friends, my job, my life… I thought I was to lose them all. Now that I realized that life could be so fragile and short, my heart beat in a chaotic rhythm. I seemed to have lost everything I had in a blink of an eye.   The sun was setting down faster than ever and the water turned cool. I tried to keep myself afloat as smoke and hazardous debris surrounded me. I prayed that none of them would explode. I had cheated death once, and I would not dare hope for a second miracle. I grabbed a large brown piece of floating debris which looked like a wooden board. With the last bit of strength left in me, I climbed onto it. My eyes, still blazing with pain, slowly closed as I blacked out.   I did not know how long ...

I gave you several phone calls but you didn't pick up. Probably as you said that picking up your house phone would affect your Wifi connection, then how about your phone? I gave you calls at both numbers and I even sent you messages. No more credit and couldn't reply texts? Pick up my calls!   If there's a time machine, what would I want to change? No! There will not be one, never. What's done was done, what's passed had passed.   Life before this, all those 'thinking-bout-you' parts, indeed they were much sweeter than any fiction or non-fiction love stories out there. But when the mistakes were made, it became haunted. Every step was traumatic and appalling, but it's not something that mattered, it was the feeling, that knowing something was not right but I still hopelessly devoted myself into it just because it looks simply unblemished, gorgeous, it appeals to me.   I knew it, I really knew it. That I couldn't forgive you. I hate forgiving...

Wow! So it's like everything has changed now? What I do, what I say, what I think. And that I... I miss you....   I know it's hard to describe but I always think about all way long we'd been friends. I treated you like more-than-friend type. Guess you know that, crystal clear. The feeling was beyond awesome, or fascinating, or amazing. But I shoved it off, cruelly, knowing that I'll be better without it. But then it just creped into my mind again.   Let's say, just saying. What if you were at the event that day, what if you were there? We wouldn't have ended up like this. Sometimes the feelings will just come back and haunt me in flashbacks, it doesn't hurt but.... it's sweet, honestly, it's sweet. But accurately, it is bitter-sweet. The feeling is indescribable, it's just, lonely.   You should've been there, with me. We could share so much laughter. So much that I would never have enough of it. Then I'll be a cheerful person, no...