You-Want's Life

Ever since my volunteering trip to rural Sabah in 2017, I have learned that there are kids out there with great potentials but not the privileges to explore them. I have met students who live so deep in the area that it takes them 2 hours to walk to their schools; and some who have only started going to school when they are 9 years old because their parents preferred for them to stay back and help with their farming chores. I felt SO lucky to have basic necessities like electricity supply, internet connection, transport arrangements to schools, and even the ability to read and write well. It hurts me seeing wasted potential in the younger generation, and I would like to extend a helping hand.   Seeing how the Covid-19 pandemic has affected the entire nation both economically and socially, I dread to imagine the current situation in rural Sabah. Good for us, Charisma Movement has worked with 3 schools around Kota Marudu in Sabah, namely SK Temunda Salimandut, SK Sampa...

Ivan. What a simple name. I-V-A-N, just that simple. But behind this ubiquitous name, there live thousands of stories. The headboy in school is called Ivan and he has the best grades; the gardener of Nong Chik Garden is an Ivan, he lost a leg in an accident last month; even the rising engineer of Soft Lab Malaysia is also named Ivan. See? That is just how common the name is.   Yet, even though it seems common to most, I have to confess that each time I hear it, a tsunami of emotions strikes me. It triggers a feeling of grief from the back of my mind, shoving up an old patch of memory, reminding me of the death of a lovely boy.   He was Ivan Ronan, young and adorable with that heart-melting little smile and bright blue eyes. He used to be one of the students in the kindergarten I worked in. Born into a loving family, life was simple but perfect for him. He had warm milk to drink every day, plastic toys his father bought for him and enthralling bedtime stories whi...

I reached out, for the seven hundred and sixteenth time. The little girl strode forward towards the park. The lingering confusion clouded my face again, but this time it came along with a deep sense of depression. No one seemed to be able to see me, or hear me. They did not even respond to my touch. No Way, it couldn't be! A sense of panic overwhelmed my mind. I waved my hands aloft, seeking another man's attention as he jogged past me. But as I had feared -- he did not see me.   Nothing actually made sense. It was six o'clock sharp in the evening, I remembered, I was at the square gazing at the town clock. Out of the blue, a blinding light blasted onto me. Its temperature was blazing, which hurt me for a second. Blood spilled everywhere from where I stood, staining my white satin dress a dark scarlet design from the bottom up, just like an April rose, but much darker. Snapped out of my daze, I looked around. A blue car was a few metres away, its driver frantically st...

'They were like sharp knives; and we were like the frozen meat in the refrigerator; they tried to cut us but we made them blunt.' Those were his words, with streams of teardrops flowing down the swarthy tanned route......   I couldn't deny that I did feel something, it tasted sour in me somehow, like something I had never felt before. Touched, desperate. It would be dramatic if I shed a tear at the moment, but I would really go for it if I still could, only if I had not lost the ability to do so.   I was a failure, he was right that I couldn't do my job well, if only there were someone to my aid, to tell me what was right and what was wrong. But that was the past. I stroke a change since Shu talked to me. Pride should never be bigger than humanity. Indeed.   I did think about quitting, but still I couldn't find the courage in doing so. He was actually the guideline that sabotaged my attempts, all the times he cheered me up and encouraged me. Even if it...

There are words that cannot be said, nor be heard, not be understood. The crows had streaks of rainbow on their wings, simply surpassing the golden phoenix. The red roses in the garden had the moon for accompany, yet the sole tulip beneath the prickers was in a shade of blue. It's like i dont get a hint. They could be off to Singapore, or disappeared when their aunts came here. They would leave at the moment they wanted, didnt care about you. I assumed they had forgotten about the details, because they played me out. They could have excuses, which I wouldnt believe at all. Shame, all shame, a valley of broken dreams, surrounded by steep slope. When did he move into a crystal snow globe? ----they have the smiles that melt icebergs down. Annabelle has a better smile....... They acted like it was the end of everything, but in fact it was just the beginning. Since most polar bears have already migrated into tiny snow globes The archer headshot the wr...

Water, water was everywhere! It choked me, salty. It was the sea. I blinked hard, but the more I did so, the more intensely my eyes ached. I was poised between life and death. My memories flooded in my mind like a kaleidoscope… my family, my friends, my job, my life… I thought I was to lose them all. Now that I realized that life could be so fragile and short, my heart beat in a chaotic rhythm. I seemed to have lost everything I had in a blink of an eye.   The sun was setting down faster than ever and the water turned cool. I tried to keep myself afloat as smoke and hazardous debris surrounded me. I prayed that none of them would explode. I had cheated death once, and I would not dare hope for a second miracle. I grabbed a large brown piece of floating debris which looked like a wooden board. With the last bit of strength left in me, I climbed onto it. My eyes, still blazing with pain, slowly closed as I blacked out.   I did not know how long ...

Water, water was everywhere! It choked me, salty, I could tell. It’s the sea. I blinked hard, but the more frequently I did so, the more intense my eyes ached. There was a vision, when I thought that hope and luck were not on my side anymore- I was poised between life and death. My memories slowly flashed in my mind like a kaleidoscope… my family, my friends, my job, my life… I thought I was to lose them all. Now that I realized that life could be so fragile and short. My heart beat in a chaotic rhythm. I seemed to have lost everything I had in a blink of an eye.   Debris of the plane floated around me, the sun was setting down faster than ever, the water turned cool as darkness crept over the azure daylight. I waded my fatigue arms across the vast, deep ocean, trying to keep myself afloat. Smoke and hazardous debris surrounded me. I prayed that none of them would explode, I had cheated death once, and I wouldn’t dare hope for a second attempt. I grabbed onto a large brown pie...