You-Want's Life

Perhaps we human beings change too quickly that we refuse to acknowledge how much we have evolved over a period of time. In merely a year ’s time, I saw myself transforming from an outgoing social butterfly to a mole who prefers to lock myself up in the room. I figured that maybe my repulsion against the community’s behaviours around me has grown so large to the extent which I cannot bear immersing myself in such a pool of unwelcomed voices anymore.   I try my best to keep the same expression everywhere I go. I give the same smile, the same gestures and the same length of answers. I maintain the same image in front of teachers and friends. This defines me. I am the one version of myself which I find extremely tough to switch. Unlike the many of yous in my surrounding who tend to keep different masks on. Perhaps there is the playful one with friends; the stern one with teachers; the weak one with the unknown. Don’t you feel tired? To me I really do, that’s why I stopped pr...

So this is one of the many meditating nights. Back in school for a new start, I have been more involved in the management of my boarding house. I realised that many of my juniors are beyond adorable, humorous and amiable. I spent my entire first year in school, not wanting to know more about these people. What was wrong with me? Juniors are like the musical notes of a boarding house. This is where they spend their young and immature days, to be polished into confident adults with leadership qualities and sense of responsibility. I am glad that my way of approach suited the many personalities in my boarding house. Trying to get to know them include the effort of sharing my personal experience in many life situations, and thus inspiring them to seek courageous solutions to problems and build stronger interpersonal skills. I reached out, hoping that my juniors feel included and safe. I portray a role as the figure I hardly had when I was at their age- I am the big brother.  ...

The story started with Mr. David Thaw's recital of a letter he received from one of his students studying in the US. It was about mental well-being. I remember nodding my head, agreeing to the content-- the emotional health of others around us, and ourselves of course,  is extremely important especially in this era where social media has a huge influences in our lives.  Mental health deterioration is an invisible killer and has caused the global suicide rate to accelerate over the past few years. The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100000, equivalent to one death every 40 seconds. People facing mental or emotional struggles turn to ending their lives as they give up the fight against mental illnesses. I wrote Mr. Thaw an email to thank him for his sharing with the whole school that day. I also shared with him my views on the importance of mental health awareness and kindness towards others. Here's the email...

So much time has passed and I have learnt so much in life. And I believe it reflects in the evolving style in my poetry. Yes, I still do poetry. It started back in December 2014, almost 4 years now. Poetry has been a sport-- jotting down the voices in my head to clear it; selling my struggles for a vague expression. Looking back at the journey I have made, I see so much more complexity in my poetry now. It used to go short and direct, giving a setting in merely a few lines long. Very simple use of words, very innocent kind of story-telling. I thank poetry, for it has been there when I thought the world has shut me out. It is like a canvas I know I can paint on without the concern of somebody judging me. I mean, people judge anyway, but I know it’s the only platform where I can express without having to feel scared. I have been through both beautiful sunrises and dark hours in life. I couldn’t help but letting most of my poetry describe how dark or depressed my inner personality had be...

Taylor Swift clearly made her fans wait.    When Reputation came out in November 2017, fans had high expectations on the production, knowing the style of music Taylor creates has evolved immensely from late-night sobbing melodies to sonically cohesive arena hits. The first week physical album sales peaked at 1.22 million copies, making the 28-year-old the only artist in music history to have four consecutive albums sell more than one million copies in their respective opening week. Using only black-and-white album art, the production channels a darker and mature tone. Inspired by the online discrimination Taylor received for rumoured dishonesty in her feud with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, she wisely turned 'snakes' into a notable mascot in promoting the album. Even the lyrics of most the songs on the record spin around the use of symbolisms like witch-burning and narcissism in address of the feud. I find a different taste in the musics recorded. I compliment the fact that...

I went to a park this afternoon, where I spent more than an hour reflecting all the ups and downs that have happened in my life for the past year. Yeap, I do contemplate a lot, for I am a highly sensitive and sentimental person. So much have happened. Be it something good, be it bad. All little details of my history have contributed in molding how I feel today, and what I aim to achieve next.   I think, it's been a lot to take in: exams, events, friendships etc. Two months before this, I was holding on to many somewhat hard issues which undeniably corrode my mental well-being. Well, this is starting to sound depressing. Let's not do it this way. I was thinking so much that time that the echoes of my own voices were extremely loud in my head. I couldn't sleep; I could hardly concentrate in class; I faked being happy. Stress level was for real. Finally ending my semester at school in July was a cure.   I have been spending a lot of personal time ever since, been back t...

Weeks ago, I came across a small coffee-table booklet full of insightful quotes praising the divinity of friendship. Reading the booklet has triggered me to reflect on my journey through building new bridges and witnessing how some of them destruct in the year (2017). I have to admit that it had been a really wonderful year for me, for I ventured on new experiences in various places and met interesting people of different back stories.   2017 was a year of meeting genuine friends who really showed that they care, and identifying a few who were just putting up their friendliness like a drama act. I truly appreciate the ones who stayed with me while I was going through hard moments in life, like when I was helplessly emotional, stressed out and almost lost the fight to peer pressure in school. I was lucky to have all these faces around me to provide advice on coping work-life balance and tone down my incorrigible competitiveness.   I believe that friends might...