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Comeback

I went to a park this afternoon, where I spent more than an hour reflecting all the ups and downs that have happened in my life for the past year. Yeap, I do contemplate a lot, for I am a highly sensitive and sentimental person. So much have happened. Be it something good, be it bad. All little details of my history have contributed in molding how I feel today, and what I aim to achieve next.

  I think, it's been a lot to take in: exams, events, friendships etc. Two months before this, I was holding on to many somewhat hard issues which undeniably corrode my mental well-being. Well, this is starting to sound depressing. Let's not do it this way. I was thinking so much that time that the echoes of my own voices were extremely loud in my head. I couldn't sleep; I could hardly concentrate in class; I faked being happy. Stress level was for real. Finally ending my semester at school in July was a cure.


  I have been spending a lot of personal time ever since, been back to my favourite spot at home where I could sleep in, where there was no sound to wake me up other than the running air conditioner. It was meditating even by simply spending time at home. There was a clear of mind. I let all my guard down, knowing that I would not be bothered by anyone or anything.

  I felt healthier. I had my time dedicated to my family. We went out for great food. We went to places. Well, I made it to many nice places, but I never see the need to share on my IG stories. I didn't see the need of outlaying my life online that much anymore. And I do not want myself to see that much of others' stories anymore too.

What one shares on social media does not mirror his or her actual life. 

And I won't be the one there to let you see anymore.

  This time of getting myself feel better was a lot of letting go and adding in. Letting go of what I do not want to include in my life; Add in new elements that somewhat make me happier. I am ready to make myself change. Perhaps, a little more smiles at social events, a little less talking at moments dedicated for myself.


  Now, I challenge myself to present my life in a different light. More behind-the-scene smiles, may them be genuine, may they shine. More life, actual life.

  I want to come back to writing, one of the things I think I have given up for quite some time ago. I hope I find what I had when I started writing on this blog. I hope my writing gets better, and I get to document my life the way I did years ago.

  I challenge myself: at least one blog post each week. Surely less time on social media will help.

Support me.



By,
Euan Thum.
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