You-Want's Life

Kolej Tuanku Ja'afar is organising its first TEDx talk in history two days from now, which is 21 October 2018 (Sunday).   There's no need to guess my reason of making this mention. I am one of the 13 event speakers, addressing the issue of youths' misuse of social media as a platform of building a perfect image. I am sharing personal experience of my own, as a heavy user of Facebook and Instagram. I have started using Facebook since 2010, Instagram started 3 years later. The very first thought of joining was merely to connect with friends and express my love for photography. However, my way of using such platforms over the years had changed so much.   I realised I was building a certain image for myself-- one who shares his exciting encounters and achievements; one who associates success with popularity derived from the number of 'likes' I received. There had been too many pictures where I looked 'overjoyed', or seemed to be having fun in life, even though...

Never have I  mentioned that I am currently in a 2-year course of A Levels at Kolej Tuanku Ja’afar. I have finished my AS level back in June and am now preparing for my A2 examinations. My summer was spent reading and doing researches for my Personal Statement, which is a key in the application requirement set by universities in the United Kingdom.   As I aim to pursue Economics as a degree in the near future, I maximise my time of reading during my free time to enrich my exposure to the economic phenomena around me. I have selected a few universities that I am interested in. The list consists of a mix of schools in London, which offers a an exciting lifestyle and of course a range of social networking opportunities to aid in future career, and in country towns, which slower pace of life is of advantage when you prefer a more tranquil lifestyle in wide beautiful campuses.   Having sent off my UCAS application, I felt a great relief. I had spent a hu...

I have been awfully busy. As I returned to my school, Kolej Tuanku Ja ’afar, after my 6-week Summer break, my housemates and I were tasked to manage the house singing performance. We had started discussing our performance before the long break started, picking the songs to sing and trying to find some catchy dance moves. However, things are all easier said than done. Discussing choreography and dance moves orally did not help much when it came to teaching juniors how to sing at the right keys, or synchronising their dances. Having only 10 of us to manage the rest of the house of approximately 70 teens was not easy. A brief info about the KTJ House Singing, it is the first interhouse challenge of the year, for its advantage of bringing the entire house together and compete with the other houses regardless of gender and age. In KTJ, there are 8 boarding houses (4 senior boys, 3 senior girls and 1 junior house). My house, Naquiyuddin, the Green house which mascot is sheep, select...

Perhaps we human beings change too quickly that we refuse to acknowledge how much we have evolved over a period of time. In merely a year ’s time, I saw myself transforming from an outgoing social butterfly to a mole who prefers to lock myself up in the room. I figured that maybe my repulsion against the community’s behaviours around me has grown so large to the extent which I cannot bear immersing myself in such a pool of unwelcomed voices anymore.   I try my best to keep the same expression everywhere I go. I give the same smile, the same gestures and the same length of answers. I maintain the same image in front of teachers and friends. This defines me. I am the one version of myself which I find extremely tough to switch. Unlike the many of yous in my surrounding who tend to keep different masks on. Perhaps there is the playful one with friends; the stern one with teachers; the weak one with the unknown. Don’t you feel tired? To me I really do, that’s why I stopped pr...

So this is one of the many meditating nights. Back in school for a new start, I have been more involved in the management of my boarding house. I realised that many of my juniors are beyond adorable, humorous and amiable. I spent my entire first year in school, not wanting to know more about these people. What was wrong with me? Juniors are like the musical notes of a boarding house. This is where they spend their young and immature days, to be polished into confident adults with leadership qualities and sense of responsibility. I am glad that my way of approach suited the many personalities in my boarding house. Trying to get to know them include the effort of sharing my personal experience in many life situations, and thus inspiring them to seek courageous solutions to problems and build stronger interpersonal skills. I reached out, hoping that my juniors feel included and safe. I portray a role as the figure I hardly had when I was at their age- I am the big brother.  ...

The story started with Mr. David Thaw's recital of a letter he received from one of his students studying in the US. It was about mental well-being. I remember nodding my head, agreeing to the content-- the emotional health of others around us, and ourselves of course,  is extremely important especially in this era where social media has a huge influences in our lives.  Mental health deterioration is an invisible killer and has caused the global suicide rate to accelerate over the past few years. The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100000, equivalent to one death every 40 seconds. People facing mental or emotional struggles turn to ending their lives as they give up the fight against mental illnesses. I wrote Mr. Thaw an email to thank him for his sharing with the whole school that day. I also shared with him my views on the importance of mental health awareness and kindness towards others. Here's the email...

So much time has passed and I have learnt so much in life. And I believe it reflects in the evolving style in my poetry. Yes, I still do poetry. It started back in December 2014, almost 4 years now. Poetry has been a sport-- jotting down the voices in my head to clear it; selling my struggles for a vague expression. Looking back at the journey I have made, I see so much more complexity in my poetry now. It used to go short and direct, giving a setting in merely a few lines long. Very simple use of words, very innocent kind of story-telling. I thank poetry, for it has been there when I thought the world has shut me out. It is like a canvas I know I can paint on without the concern of somebody judging me. I mean, people judge anyway, but I know it’s the only platform where I can express without having to feel scared. I have been through both beautiful sunrises and dark hours in life. I couldn’t help but letting most of my poetry describe how dark or depressed my inner personality had be...