Building A False Image Of Perfection On Social Media

Look-

Look at all these young faces.

These beautiful smiles like the sunsets…….

Look at the happiness written across their faces without words.

Those smiles summed up their successful lives, or perhaps a luxurious lifestyle, fancy dresses, expensive cars.

I mean, look at the smiles on their faces, they look like they have been promoted at work or something.

But, the truth is, this is not the case

These people share one thing in common.

One thing I regret to have to say.

They committed suicide.

Regardless of how happy they look in these photos, they were dying inside.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100000, equivalent to one death every 40 seconds.

Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for youth aged 10-24. The statistics is more than deaths caused by medical issues including cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, combined.

Doesn’t this mean something? What are the youths doing these days that the older generation did not have back in the 80s, or the 90s?

Social media.

Social media is in such heavy use today that it has turned to become part of our daily routine.

I can’t deny I enjoy using it so much too. I started using Instagram in 2013 for the love for photography.

I would update my Instagram feeds a few times every month; I uploaded pictures on Facebook at the end of each schooling term, I still do this now.

I, too, would spend my lazy afternoons scrolling others’ feeds.

We have grown so addicted to showcasing our lifestyle that some of us often feel that we have an obligation to do so.  

Some feel the need for an instant upload of a big life event; some are always hungry for feeds, wanting to catch up with the latest gossips in school

But… why?

Why do we showcase our lifestyles?

Oh well, It’s a way of expressing oneself!

Great! If it is healthy, why not?

A picture or video of us playing with our pet dogs, trying out make-up techniques, hiking or sunbathing on a beautiful beach.

We are documenting our life and sharing it with our closest friends.

What’s wrong with that?

Technology has made sharing possible and we are so connected with someone across the globe at anytime of the day. We are inspired and motivated to make our life interesting through looking at how others live theirs.

Yet, the case isn’t this simple.

When we refer to others’ lifestyle, we are impressed; we work on ourselves based on their standards.

As I read IG stories of my seniors being in London now, I greatly admire them for being where they have always wanted to be. It became a positive motivation for me to work harder in my A Levels. As I know, London is the light at the end of the tunnel for me.

Yes, that’s a positive motivation.

But, it does not go the same way for everyone.

Some of us let others’ lifestyles affect the way we choose to build an image of ourselves.

Jealousy is one of the most significant emotions which we humans experience.

We look at pictures of a beautiful body, a luxurious car, an expensive meal your friends might or might not have the chance to get their hands on. What do we feel? Happy for them?

Not all of us do.

Some of us take a look at our own lifestyles and draw a comparison, even if we do not consciously do so.

This creates a peer pressure.

There are individuals who feel obliged to create a positive and untouchable image.

They feel needed to catch up with the latest gossips in school, or the latest online trends.

They want to lead the trend; as they love the attention of others being impressed.

So they shape a false image of them on social media, knowing that no one would find out in real life. Perhaps it is faking an expensive meal, documenting a friendship which only shines on the surface, or publishing happy pictures of overjoyed smiles.

Can any of these be real? Only the publishers know.

This is a sign of mental health deterioration. The stress derived from comparisons between lifestyles is slowly shaping.

Documenting life must come with certain considerations.

Some people use it to create a false image of success, happiness and bliss, even if they are not in real life.

They are experiencing a breakup, the loss of a friendship, failing grades, parents’ expectations.

Everything is happening. They are not happy. But, deliberately, they want others to believe how much joy they are having.

It comes to a point where social media is no longer a safe space to express what they genuinely feel.

It becomes a life of getting ‘likes’ and responses.

In 2015, Australian Instagram sensation Essena O'Neill quit social media, giving up on her 2000 over candid photos and more than 600,000 followers.

On her portrayal of exotic travels, branded clothes and a cast of beautiful friends, she declared “It’s not real life”.

Her journey online became toxic with symptoms of anxiety thanks to the obsession with a perfect image on social media.

Fortunately, she did not commit suicide, and is now writing, to help others realise the cons of building a false image of perfection on social media.

The insecurity of how others look at them is one key factor leading to depression, and even suicide. For all the portraits you have seen here, not everyone of them committed suicide due to the same reason. But we cannot deny or ignore the fact that suicide is a leading cause of death among youths, and the fact that the influence of social media pressures them to the extent which ending their lives seems like the only way out of a life of depression and social anxiety.

This is how social media has contributed to the silent epidemic at an accelerating rate now.

There is no warning given to deciding that death is the ultimate solution.

I urge everyone:

Perhaps you should first, take a look at what you publish and the image you are creating for yourself. Ask yourself, is it necessary? Is it real?

Does that share your exciting lifestyle with others, your actual joy or does it feel like keeping up with the trend of having a perfect summer holiday?

Second, instead of looking at what others showcase of their life on social media, get to know them in real life.

The most popular Instagram diva, is probably someone who can’t keep up with a conversation in real life.

Someone who seems to have a perfect life could be depressed, or self-harming.

So, don’t be proud engaging through texts. They don’t carry emotions. Pictures are posed for. But in real life, knowing a person might inspire you in more ways than you can imagine.

Or perhaps, you get to save a life.

It’s empty, to my knowledge

Of the masks you wore.

Half of them lacked sincerity

Or perhaps so much more.

Layers by layers you stitched them on.

On the masks were gorgeous paintings

to hide your inner suffering.

You are the only one to know that:

across them wrote a huge word, ‘fake’.

I couldn’t read your expressions,

Your lips mumbled the lack of faith.

Left me pondering

The secrets  you wanted hidden.

People took turns, reading your diaries.

But none understood the actual plot

as your voice changed the settings.

With no tears in your eyes, you winked-

You feared everything we hear bout you

Was a horror movie- a sold-out show.

You did not know

the many hearts in your life

till you lost the few you held too tightly onto.

I did not know

how genuine relief felt like,

till I saw you, being you.

May the voices try to drown you now

we'll flap through the currents

we'll fight the war.

From ashes, we reborn.

We'll live life, and we'll be real. Watch my talk at TEDxYouth@KTJ, on 21 Oct 2018:

By,

Euan Thum.